issue 4, sometime in april 2000


 




 
talk



we are totally out of cartoons.
please click here to send us one.

  famous magazine rejection letters


wash number one
We are acknowledging the receipt of your resume. We will be pleased to consider you for current and future positions suitable to your background and experience. Thank you for your interest in Hearst Magazines.

Human Resources
Hearst Magazines


wash number two

The Editors of Esquire appreciated the opportunity to consider your work. We're Sorry to tell you that it does not fit our needs, but thank you for sending it to us.

[Handwritten] Thank you for giving us a look at your work--in the future if you want to inquire about receipt of a story you are welcome to enclose a postcards AND an SASE & we will mail the postcard to notify that your story arrived--unfortunately we receive too many stories to be able to respond to inquiries by phone.

Best,
A. Davis

 

We have one funny cartoon in the works, thanks to Delilah Hornsby, but our illustrator injured his drawing arm (in the usual fashion, of course). so, we need cartoons. and letters.
if you enjoy or loathe what you see in the magazine,
drop us a line.


 
praise, sort of


king of the world
You know, for a bunch of morons, you guys (et al.) at Chocolate Thunder sure do seem to get a pretty big kick out of yourselves. I did find your "art versus art" story to be pretty funny, and the accompanying artwork was food for thought (simultaneously illustrating the piece and raising issues relevant to its content, as well).

Tom
New York

[editor’s note: Right on.]



feel the thunder
I like your magazine. It's funny. You guys are pretty weird though. I mean, the Bohr model for Iron seemed a little out there.

Ally
via internet


[editor’s note: We grew up with periodic tables on our walls. What else can we say?]



Free Stuff
Thank you for your interest in receiving free music from Astralwerks-Caroline-Virgin and our many subsidiaries. While we would like to take full advantage of your claim to "unparalleled coverage made available to an astonishingly wealthy demographic of literate computer owners who will be like putty in [your] hands," we regret to inform you that we are unable to use your offer at this time. Please notify us when your "magazine" has established significant traffic.

Errol Kolosine
Astralwerks
New York

 

no cartoons for you
 
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